Dealing with Injustice with Your Head Held High

Originally posted on my website: www.eliciaclegg.com

In a world that tells us time and time again that the nice guy finishes last while also telling us that "what goes around comes around" can leave anyone screaming.

This mixed message is just one of the many conflicts one will find as they stroll down this road of life.  So how do you do it?  How can you fight injustice?  Should you just take it and hope that some invisible force called karma will help?  Or should you become some jerk and throw fireballs?

Well this is a complex question and it can not be answered in one simply sentence or you know I would simply write it? 

But why Elicia?  Why can't it be simple?

Uh, hello, life is not simple....if it was; well I suppose it would be boring...now wouldn't it.

Okay first off let me tell you my little theory on how I come up with answers to my problems.  Wait...let me back up:

Some very basic rules in dealing with injustice:

1. Never, never react if you are under the influence of any type of drug...period, I don't care if you are prescribed it...don't react under the influence of drugs...yes this includes alcohol.

2.  If you can, sleep on it.  Give it one full nights rest.

3.  Pretend you are the other person, understand their motive.

4. Never never let them see you cry, scream, or flip out.

5.  If it involves your child...all bets are off...give it all, they are a gift from the universe and it is your duty to protect them...no matter what.

Okay, with those basic rules let us move back to a theory I have.  Life and time should be seen as a circle

Now if your life is a circle and you take out the numbers every moment both follows and precedes the other.  This means you can not justify one action by saying....for example:  "But they did this first..." because it both happened before and after you did what you did.

So what does this mean?  In the simplest of terms, do not justify your actions by what has happened in the past or the future...justify it on a scale of both before and after.

Now wait a minute Elicia...wait just a minute. That don't make no sense.

Okay, okay, it is a little weird to act based solely on the moment at hand without thinking of both the past and the future...  so try it out.  When you isolate an action...can you justify it...?

She slashed his tires because he cheated on her.

He cheated on her because she slashed her tires.

She flunked him because he didn't study.

He didn't study because she flunked him.

Round and round and round we go.

Now try this without using an excuse.

He beat her, she left, hide, got family and friend support, got a job, and started a new life.

She left, hide, got family and friends to support her, got a new job, and started a new life...he beat her.

Not so good now is it?

Taking the high road is hard.  There is no guarantee the other person will suffer or ever pain for their sins, but if life is a circle, you will have never justified their actions.  This is my sanctuary.  Never allowing the other person a chance to say...but, but, but......they did this to me. 

I hope this helps.  If you want more info, leave a comment and I would love to discuss this more. 

Morality, A Word Corrupted by Religion?

Originally posted on my website: www.eliciaclegg.com

I have labored in my mind many different reasons as to why I should or should not be moral.  Even now as I type this blog, yet again, I feel utterly perplexed and downright confused.  I can see how being moral is not in my best interest; for morality has become such a complex notion that even the experts cannot agree upon what morality is.  Not to mention the bewilderment which comes with the knowledge of the numerous attempts to manipulate, and successfully so, the very meaning of morals, this of course is done simply to line the pockets of greedy, unscrupulous people.

These acts of corruption lead most people to ask:  if I do not follow the painstakingly difficult dogma of religion, will I burn in the blazing pits of hell?  

Fear surly could not be a good reason for me to act morally, or as I like to say: with values.  With this statement came the confusion and the idea that morals are in fact not worth ones time, and so I am set back.  Is morality simply control?  Is morality a lie?  Is morality for the weak?  These complex and swirling thoughts of puzzlement kept occurring to me and so again I ask; why should I be moral?  As they say, nice guys finish last. 

Then I stopped and much like a whisper swirling around in the wind and hardly audible, the meaning of morality breathed life into me.  It was then I knew morals are not some laboring, overwhelming job of doing one good deed after another nor is it some rule of continuous self sacrifice.  It is simply the interlocking fingers of compassion and love, a kind of natural byproduct of a loving, compassionate act.  It was in this definition of morality that allowed me to put away my judgmental notions of morals being just another way for the man to control us humans.  It is with this definition that I am really able to analyze whether or not I should be moral and why.

I have seen the evils that come with greed and with power.  I know these acts can in fact bring joy and fulfillment, well at least for a short span of time.  We all choose our paths in life and as a person who lives and breathes in this tactile world, I have chosen, after walking the dark path, to live my life in the world of love and compassion.  I am not alone; this is my children's lives, my love's life, and my many friends' lives.  And though the darkness is very compelling and easy, love has allowed me to say that even though morality, in the moment, may seem stupid, naive, and dare I say, the losing spirit, it is, in the grand scheme of time being infinite, the correct thing and way to live.

How can I say that in the essence of life being more than a moment that I know without a doubt that morality is in mine, yours, or anyone's best interest? Simple, whether or not their actually is some great God who made it so, or some kind of cruel joke of nature, we as humans are not singular creatures.  We are born into this world naked and helpless and in most cases we die in just this way.  This leads to the conclusion: whether we like them or not, we do impact those around us, just as they impact us.  In a way, if I am bad to someone else, I am in fact being bad to myself.

If we all thought only of ourselves and chose not to think before we act, then life as we know it would cease to exist and quite possibly stop altogether.  If we live by the rules of greed, selfishness, enslavement, and cruelty; we will slowly find ourselves in a world that is driven solely by these things.  Men would dominate each other with brute force and manipulation.  The poor would starve, the weak would be enslaved, and children would simply be born to serve their parents until they had the strength or cunning to overthrow their oppressors.  

This world is not the world I find to be desirable nor do I believe that it is desirable even for the very strong and most intelligent of us; for even the very strong of will and mind will eventually grow weak and old and helpless.

We are born into this world vulnerable; it is only through the acts of love and kindness that we really thrive.  I respect life; I love my family, friends, and try not to dwell on the hate of my enemies.  I show compassion toward my fellow man, and though it may not be the easiest of choices, I know in my heart that I will always strive to be a moral person.  

So yes, morality has been corrupted and railroaded.  It has been twisted and abused, but so has love...and yet could you imagine a life without love?  Neither can I. 

How Do You Deal with the Death of a Loved One?

Forgot I had this blog...so I am going to be more active.  First note:  The next few posts will be "re-posts" directly from my website. www.eliciaclegg.com 

My grandma Betty, My grandpa Stan, My father Merrill, My brother Aaron, My uncles: Randy and Gary.  My cousin Jeremy, My In-laws: Grandpa and Grandma Petersen, My Father In-law Ken.  My close friend Charles.  Several of my friends fathers and the list goes on.

I deal with death by crying....Yes, let it all out.  Crying is a good way of letting the physical body feel and then purge the sadness of never being able to see that person on Earth again.  And of course time, nothing heals better than time.

Now the question I have for you is...do you believe we sometimes dream about Heaven?
Do we sometimes dream about those we love and is the dream real?  Or is the dream just a dream?

I sometimes believe they are real, and if so it leaves me with a good feeling of hope.  I have seen my father several times, stuck in a weird limbo of his own mind.  It has been so many years and for years I dreamt he was stuck in his store that he owned, and each time I saw it the store grew older and more warn down.  Recently however he was finally out of the store, this gives me hope he will soon be born again and live happily this time and not lead a life that will cause him and others so much pain.

Last night I had a wonderful dream that my cousin Jeremy was briefly in.   I was walking out of my sister in-laws and friend Camilla's house.  The phone rang and she stopped me saying it was for me, which was weird because no one knew where I was there.

I was saying hello? hello?  and I hear Jermey's  voice.  Then I notice the same music playing in the living room as on the phone.  I turn around and there he was.

Jermey was no longer sick, he looked as he did as a child, but in man form, like he was 24 or 25 but healthy.  I ran up and held so tightly to him as I looked and saw he had 2 boys looking after him, he was a father...which in life he never was.  It was so wonderful, and then I woke up....I woke up and had forgotten he was gone and was about to call him and then remembered....WAM!!!

Nothing like forgetting someone has passed for a second as you go to call them to pull you back down to earth.  It was a shocking feeling, but I am happy for him, and hope the dream was real because he was finally happy, healthy, and loved by two beautiful little boys.  

To all who have lost, which we all have or will at some point....It will be okay eventually, keep trying to move forward and know that one day the pain will ease and you will only have the good feelings when you remember them.