Good morning all my friends, my website blog is having some issues this morning, and I promised more Stairway In-Between Heaven and Hell today. So I will be posting here and once my website blog is up and running I will let you all know, sorry for the problems :(
**If you are just joining us please see chapters one through four on my website: www.eliciaclegg.com/Stairwary-In-Between-Heaven--and--Hell.php**
Chapter Six
“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me,” Leigh spoke softly, over and over again, wishing she had listened to or even looked at her Holy Bible more often. As of late she had lost all faith, but now, in the dark, her need for God compelled her to say it over and over again, “thou art with me, thou art with me,” in an attempt to believe it.
She felt cold, naked; fear, rigidity, and massive spells of panic attacks swirled in and around her being. Her steps were unsure, yet she continued on, the light fading into dark, her surroundings disappearing allowing the voices to take control. They egged her on, telling, screaming, speaking loudly, and promising, time and time again: your father is here, this way, come on, quickly now, he’s here. She faltered feeling as though she were walking on tiny pebbles; her bare feet becoming raw quickly, little shards of sand came up, slicing into her hills. She grew skittish, she felt paralyzed to move forward now wanting to deviate, delay, and cancel the journey to which she could no longer endure. They began to laugh at her, she turned, seeing the light behind her, she turned again, the blackness enveloping her once more. She was caught in a loop, dark and then the light, darkness, light, darkness light. Her head spun as her body twisted revolving around and around until she was dizzy. She didn’t like the darkness, something inside her told her to run. Her feet took another step forward somehow being urged forward, the laughter turning into screams, she halted once more.
“Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me,” the tears sprang forth.
There is no lord here! A voice screeched out, the truth jabbing into her.
Her body was overcome with fear, her mind no longer helpless to the confusing laughter and screams. She spun on her heels, the light being seen as she bolted back tracking, running faster and faster. The thunderous noise behind her becoming swift, the light seeming to move with her, and then surpassing her as it slowly moved out of reach, a never ending trail of darkness left to linger along the side of her. She couldn’t reach the light. Her smoke laden lungs burned, her tears streaming, faster and faster, her legs fumbling, her feet cracking, and the laughter turning to hideous screams.
And then Leigh tripped, her mind going black, her soul being pulled away, squeezing painfully through time as she fell endlessly into the nothingness which swallowed her whole.
*****
Leigh felt herself cry out one last time, and then despair came washing through her as her body collided with the ground a loud cracking noise and a thud were the last things she heard.
She opened her eyes looking up to see the night sky, the stars partially being blocked by dark clouds, tiny droplets of rain felt refreshing, yet cold. Leigh turned, catching a glimpse of herself in a buildings window. She felt herself go week while also feeling her growing edgy and nervous all at once. Leigh blinked; it was not her she was looking at, though she saw through her own eyes, felt her own being. She was staring at her mother Samantha, but not as a woman, as a youth in her twelfth year of life.
Samantha looked down at her watch, Leigh being forced to do the same, her own thoughts searching over the devastating reality. She quivered from within, trapped and feeling, amongst other things, apprehension at the time which seemed to be slipping away.
Samantha shook her head, she was going to just hurry home but right now she needed to smoke a cigarette. She moaned, Lisa, her older sister and guardian, would be home right now. If she smelt smoke on her breathe, which she probably would, Samantha would be grounded yet another week. She shrugged her shoulders, the urge for the cigarette to strong. She bit down on her nail as she pulled out a non-filtered cigarette and stuck it in her mouth; her anxiety already dissipating.
She went to light it when she noticed a cop car rolling by, Sam turned her head and quickly snatched it from her mouth, the nerves flaring once more. He had raised his eye brow to her; she smiled, hoping he had not seen the white stick of death. She looked around, the last thing she needed was a smoking ticket, and her sister would have her committed for sure. She laughed, wondering if her sister, who went overboard on all things, would have her placed in a detoxify program. She signed as she began to walk home feeling worse than before, she popped her neck, her head began to ache as tiny voices seemed to come up and jumble her thoughts. She really needed a smoke, to inhale deeply, feel the sickness wash away her problems.
More droplets of rain began to hit Sam’s head, she looked up at the sky, a part in the clouds formed and for a moment she could see the moon. She slightly smiled, thinking of her mother, wishing she were here, wishing she had never died. She closed her eyes, rain splashed her face, glistening and bouncing off tiny flakes of light from the street lamp. Her eyes opened, it was settled numerous buildings surrounded her which meant alleys and safety from prying eyes. She pulled back out her cigarette, popped it in her mouth and walked around the corner, stopping to look down the dank pathway.
She leaned down, tying her shoe, delaying for a moment, she really didn’t like dark places.
What are you a little baby, go, quit thinking about it, I need a smoke to.
Sam looked around, the voice in her head not seeming or sounding like her own. She slowly stood back up, feeling her leg move forward. She took another step, placing her hood over her head as she fully stepped into the shadows the buildings created; her light and visibility being cut by more than half. She looked around thinking the bleakness would eat her whole, feeling a certain sense of emptiness. Her eyes gazed upward, the dark clouds looming, the rain remaining steady slowly covering the earth one tiny droplet at a time. She pulled out the lighter; it flickered and popped as she finally lit the smoke, pausing as she inhaled deeply, the grey smoke swirling in and around her lungs. She breathed out, allowing the light-headedness take over her consciousness as she walked on.
Without warning a chill ran up her spine and alarms seemed to go off in her mind while a sense of calm also took over, curiosity and intrigue drew her further into the darkness. This was unusual, she walked on, feeling less and less like herself, moving further and further into the alley way until the twilight stars completely disappeared leaving only a faint hint of light. She could smell putrid odors wafting up, the sprinkling rain slowly soaking through her shoes and seeping in to her socks. She moved a bit faster, her eyes now fixed straight ahead, seeing the light nearly a block away. The cigarette came to her grateful lips once more, sadness taking over. Her eyes gazed at the stars once more; she no longer felt her mother was with her. The chills and shadows grew with each step, she took another deep breathe, the smoke looking dark, the warm air hitting the cold making it dense and seemingly menacing.
She began humming a lullaby her mother use to sing to her at night when she was freighted. The humming grew louder as she watched the rain form tiny puddles around her feet.
Somewhere in the furthest realms of her mind she heard them coming, felt them coming, even her body reacted, her feet stepping faster, reaching a speed walkers pace. Yet her conscious mind did not hear them, another chill came, rain began beating harder on her face, her smoke sizzling, then fizzling out. She smiled feeling at ease as the poison worked its magic. A hand reached out in the darkness, drawing closer and closer.
Heat collided into her shoulder as the hand touched softly, soothingly; she jumped slightly a scream escaping her smoke infested mouth as the cigarette hit the ground. She turned, feeling herself laugh at the noise she had made, the sound bouncing off the cold concrete walls echoing back at her. Though she hadn’t wanted to she stopped, her body turning to look at the boys standing in front of her.
Run, Jesus Christ Run Stupid! Run!
She smiled at her fate, her destiny, her pain, her anguish, and her soul’s corruptor. Four boys, breathing down her neck, smiling, looking vaguely familiar, perhaps boys she had seen in church, perhaps not. She certainly hadn’t seen them in sixth grade; they had to be in high school, at least ninth grade.
Can’t you see the Knife!
Samantha filched at the noise her mind was making, she shook it off as one of the four boys stepped closer to her. A cruel smile formed on his face, Samantha instinctually took a step back.
“So little girl what brings you back to our lair?” The boy said sinisterly.
“Well I just needed a little pick me up and I didn’t want to pigs to bust me again, another smoking ticket and I am done.” She tried to sound tough, to sound sure, though her voice cracked and shook with fear, she didn’t like the way he looked at her. The other three kept taking small steps, tiny movements, slowly circling her, escape disappearing with each click of the second hand.
“No we wouldn’t want you to get into any trouble.” His hand reached up, touching a strained of golden hair.
She half smiled, though she took another step back, not liking anyone to touch her, especially not a boy. He smiled back at her, this time his hand grabbed her arm, and she could feel his fingers boring into her skin, his nails pinching then cutting into her flesh.
“You know I could show you an even better pick me up, if you wanted me to.” He stepped even close, his grip tightening, his breathe being felt on her skin, the odor making her sick.
Sam felt herself shack her head no, a lump forming in her throat. She tried to pull her arm away from the boy, and for a moment, his grip released, she felt as though she would be able to run free. She looked down at her sleeve, feeling the red bruise forming on her arm. She smiled at them again, nodding as politely as she could as she slowly took a step toward salvation. They didn’t move. She took another step. Still no movement. Yet another step, and another, her heart beat, her throat filling with acid from her nervous stomach, and another step, one more. Her body had fully escaped the circle. Her steps to the light continued, one at a time, never faltering, never changing her pace. And then she began to feel her mind scream as she heard the boy’s voice once again.
“Hey, where in the hell are you going sweet meat? The parties just about to get started honey and you are the main guest.”
His voice cracked like thunder in her mind as her ears rang out. She couldn’t stand it anymore, her heart beat harder, pounding through her chest, her teeth bit down on her bottom lip, she felt week, scared. Her mind screamed one more time, MOVE FEET, and she was off and running. Her feet hit the ground so hard it sent shock waves up her muscles, making her knees feel as though they would split open. Her lungs throbbed objecting to the use of oxygen, her throat on fire, and all at once the chase began.
Her breathing became harder as she tried to chock back the wild screaming in her mind. She swallowed in, yelling was no way to give up the precious air her body needed. Faster and faster, her feet finally began to feel the air. She slightly turned her head seeing out of the corner of her eye, they were gaining on her.
The two souls kept running, both feeling the tremendous strain on the body. They were running so fast, Samantha felt it, Leigh felt it, their souls were ripping in half, one trying to shove the other out, and neither having the power to do so. The fear too much for the two, both began to feel dizzy, colliding once more. Samantha’s pace quickened, catching a second wind, her lungs seeming to clear. She drew closer and closer to the end, seeing a dim street light in the short distance. Freedom was just around the corner, a few more steps and she would be free.
“Gotcha!” Nate yelled.
Sam felt her hair being pulled from her roots as the boy, much like the devil, pulled her back into the darkness the shadows consuming her all at once. He yanked even harder spinning her around, both hands placed on each forearm. She breathed hard, unsure if she should scream or play it off. She was confused, no answer came. She felt alone, petrified at her lack of wisdom.
“Why’d ya take off runin like that?” He asked, looking around at the others then back at her. “Do we look like guys that would hurt such a pretty sweet young thing like you?”
His finger traced her face as the other guys began to laugh at her. He had such a strong hold of her arm that it began to ach; stars began shooting before her eyes her lungs seeming to close, a sharp pain in her chest rang out. She looked up at the sky, asking God to help her. Her chest felt heavy her mind yelling at her in an attempt to control her tears and control her trembling body.
“Oh did you guys think I was running from you,” She said with a slight smile, acting matter of fact.
“What would you think,” he said, tugging at her hair and pulling off her hood, stepping even closer, tracing his finger down the back of her head, lingering on her throat.
“Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t know you would think that it’s just that I remembered that I needed to be home in five minutes and I didn’t want anyone to worry about me.”
“What does mommy worry about you a lot?” The boys laughed once again.
“Well actually no I don’t have any parents but I’m sure if I did they would worry.” She was at a loss, he stepped even closer, his hand touching her stomach, then moving lower, sliding up under her shirt, she flinched and she shoved his hand away from her. One boy laughed. Nathan turned fire in his eyes, the boy instantly shut up.
“What happened to your parents?” He asked. Nate stepped forward, his body pushing her to move with his until her body pressed against the brick wall. She was trapped.
“They died last year. I guess that’s why I smoke it take the edge off things.” She was trying to make a connection with them, though failing miserably.
“Well of course your parents are dead; a pretty girl like you needs an excuse to smoke now doesn’t she.” There was a long silence and he spoke again. “Tell me your name so I don’t have to keep calling you little girl, its starting to get to me.”
“Why? I mean I’m not trying to be rude but my mother told me never to talk to strangers, let alone give them my name.”
Nate slightly laughed, his body moving away from her, for a moment everyone looked at ease. He took another step back, looking at each boy then back at her. The glow of evil grabbed hold of her, this was not a game.
“Well you are absolutely right we can’t go disobeying mommy especially sense those worms are boring into her right now, eating up the last of her brains. Oh well, she may be dead but at least she can have peace knowing that her daughter is listening to her. So let me make us no longer strangers. This here is Chad, he pointed to the boy on the left, this is Reggie, the boy behind him, Martin, the boy on the left, and I am Nate, so now honey we’re not strangers.”
“Me just knowing your name doesn’t make us friends and it doesn’t mean we are not strangers,” suddenly Sam felt a heat surge up through her, tell him you’re damned name, stop making him mad.
He laughed, “You are right yet again.”
Nate pressed his body up against her, “isn’t she the smartest girl you have ever met. You are so right little girl, names don’t change anything. But I know what will make us friends; in fact it will keep us locked in the internal throws of the universe together forever.”
She felt his breathe, felt his manhood getting harder, both touching her. His hands slowly moved up again, until they were pressing against her throat, “I will make you my lover.” He whispered.
The knife that Nate had put away when he took chase was pulled out of his pocket. For a moment the knife lingered in front of Sam’s eyes, her life began flashing before him. The softness of her pale skin began to feel hot and sweaty as the knife was pushed to her throat, she swallowed, a mistake, blood slowly trickled down her neck, up and over her breasts and began soaking her shirt.
“No Nate, don’t do it,” Chad said stepping up.
Nate turned around, releasing Samantha whose paralyzed body stared at the two.
“What the fuck, I am just having little fun.”
“She’s like twelve dude.” Chad said shaking his head.
Samantha blinked, she was right, she had seen this boy, seen him at church.
Nate raised his hand smashing it across Chad’s face. Chad spit out blood, looked at the other two and threw his hands in the air, “Fuck this, I’m out of here.”
Nate didn’t watch him leave he just turned back to Samantha. She blinked her eyes and before her thoughts could collect themselves someone’s foot went under her knees as he fell to the ground. Her head smacked into the asphalt, the water slightly cushioning the blow. She felt her body explode with pain. Nate jumped on top of her, straddling his legs over her stomach, the knife back at her throat.
She blinked her eyes again, the other boys standing over her, the knife feeling so sharp, she could no longer hold out, her mouth opened and she began to belt out scream after blood curtailing scream. The two remaining boys flinched at the same time, the noise seeming to snap them into reality. They looked at each other then took off running. Nate looked up, looking angrier than before. He turned back to her, his hand grabbed hold of her head she felt her head smack into the ground making a cracking noise, more blood, and yet she still screamed. Nate laughed this time, her head smashed into the ground even harder, stars of pain shot through her mind, her eyes seemed to roll back into their sockets, and she was silenced, though her ugly bitter sweet consciousness remained.
The knife moved away from her neck, Sam could vaguely feel her pants being slit open, her panties being cut and then ripped from her body. She felt sick, her shame endless. Her blouse tour, her young blossoming bosom exposed, she shivered, the cold ragging throughout her body. She felt wet, slimy as Nate began kissing her nipples, her body numb, and her mind gone. He shifted his body to lie next to her, his hand softly caressing her skin, touching her eyes, stroking her hair.
“Open your eyes little girl”
Samantha refused to open her eyes, not even realizing that she had clenched them shut. Her tears still holding back, her mind crying, begging for help.
“Open your eyes.” He said again, this time she weekly nodded no, her arms stiffly placed against her side, chills dominated her nude body.
“Open your eyes or you will have an even bigger whole.” Nate said sadistically, the knife, its cold steal pressing against her thigh, more pain, more fire, and more blood could be felt. His words her hurt, wounded her naive mind, her innocence and her purity. The fear reaching a fever pitch, she could no longer lie to herself, give herself hope, and it was not going to be alright. Her eyes opened, the rain coming down harder than before.
“Now that’s much better, I do so love your beautiful blue eyes. I love to look at them. Now tell me sweet heart, tell me before I consummate our love. Tell me your name.” His body pressed up against the side of her, her fingers lightly touching his manhood, she moved it away, feeling week, feeling sick. If she wanted to say something her mind could not comprehend how to speak.
“No name? Hmmm? Well, let us see how long you have no name.”
The blade lifted going to her forehead just below the hair line. She felt the edge as it sliced into her as it gracefully cut across into a straight line, exposing her scalp, the head bleeding much more than any other part of her body. She felt the blood flow down to the back of her neck; she blinked, trying to speak. The knife came down a bit further, lightly touching her nose, down her throat, over her collar bone, laying rest on her left nipple. His hand came up, cupping her breast as the steel pressed hard, puncturing her skin, he was going to scalp her breast, take the red circle as a souvenir.
“Samantha.”
The blade stopped, “Samantha who?”
“Samantha Sinclair.” She choked out, the tears would have their turn, her eyes pooling up, her body shaking from the cold and the pain from within.
“Now that wasn’t so hard.” He moved his hand down, going over her stomach, across her thigh, sliding further until he reached her pubescent self. His hand touching her, his finger lingering, sliding further down, he made eye contact.
“My virginal girl.”
He climbed on top of her, his body heavy, his flesh melting with hers as he jabbed hard, feeling her virginity tearing, being destroyed as a burning sensation turned her lions into fire. She let out a scream; he pushed harder, braking completely through. His body began pumping up and down, the pain growing worse, more blood being released. She closed her eyes, trying to float away, free herself from all the pain.
His fist came up, smashing across her young face, “Keep them open.”
He breathed out, his face, next to hers; she opened her eyes, though looked away. His fist came down again, flying across her jaw, the throbbing and sounds nearly making her black out. She looked at him. He moved up and down, forcing himself into her over and over again. The pain, the disgust, the emptiness, the shame all lasting an eternity.
Nate was having trouble coming, the cold getting to him, the lack of passion wickedly taunting him. He grabbed her chin, looking at her, “Tell me you love me.”
She was going to vomit, “I love you.”
“Yes” he whispered, his body moving again, his face bearing into her hair, “tell me again.”
“I love you.”
His pumping went faster, in and out, her flesh ripping, the pain rising, he let out a long moan and collapsed on top of her. He laid for a moment, catching his breath, then standing up and pulling up his pants. He stared down at her for a long time. Thunder streaked across the sky, she saw the look in his eyes, his monstrous soul showing, and the devil inside him taking control.
He knelt down and brutally, careless, and ruthlessly shoved the knife into her stomach. Her pain tremendous, her body feeling the torturous fire as her voice screamed out into the seemingly empty sky. He pulled it out, pushing and puncturing her stomach again, over and over for a total of ten times the knife stabbed into the young girl. Her mouth began to gurgle as she coughed up blood, her head flopping to the left as she watched Nate walk off, staring at his shoes, and remembering his face as her world turned black and consciousness left her.
*****
